Up in Ontario

Potent Quotables: Celebrities 2003

Everyone else seems to have Top 10 lists and Best-of lists for the end of the year. Then they roll out the predictions for the next year. But me, I'm just going to collect some things that other people said, and let them make their own points.

"I suppose people will call me Sir Mick. But Sir Michael has a nice ring to it." — Sir Mick Jagger accepts a knighthood at Her Majesty's request.

"I don't want to step out on stage with someone wearing a fucking coronet and sporting the old ermine." — Keith Richards expresses his disagreement with Sir Mick's new title.

"I think he's a bit like a bawling child who hasn't got an ice cream." — Sir Mick rebuts his commoner bandmate.

"To have a lot of dolls made of two characters that I have played or to find little representations of myself falling out of a cornflakes box or on a Burger King mug, these are not necessarily desirable things, but when they happen, you just sort of hug yourself with delight." — Sir Ian McKellen, on starring in both The Lord of the Rings and X-Men movies.

"When I shake my butt, I feel it in my soul." — Bootylicious singer Beyoncé Knowles.

"I always laugh when actors fight over trailers. I'm from Kentucky. We try to stay out of trailers. It's not a status symbol for us." — George Clooney, on film-set etiquette.

"I'll phone up and say, 'Hi, it's Paris Hilton,' and they'll say, 'Yes, this is the Paris Hilton.' So I'm like, 'Yes, I know, I'm Paris Hilton.' It can go on for hours like some badcomedy film." — Paris Hilton, on getting booked at the family hotel.

"I've been lucky because I do regard myself as a slightly aging character and I've been able to be in scenes with delightful women, like Kate Winslet, Cate Blanchett, Salma Hayek, Goldie Hawn. ..... It's been a perk of the job. And the prettiest of all, of course, was Johnny Depp." — Actor Geoffrey Rush, on beauties with whom he has starred.

"Looking back, I don't know why we needed it to be quite so loud all the time." — The Who star Pete Townshend, on his current problems with tinnitus.

"Someone asked me the other day, 'What do you do?' And I said, 'Mainly interviews about things that I did more than 25 years ago.'." — Comedian John Cleese, on being a living legend.

"Monica Lewinsky has agreed to host a new Fox reality show called Mr. Personality. Lewinsky says this way, when people ask her the most degrading thing she's ever done, she'll have a new answer." — Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live.

"Yesterday, the World Health Organization said the spread of SARS has been stopped dead in its tracks. That means the biggest health threat in Toronto is, once again, acute boredom." — Conan O'Brien on Late Night.

"I wish him all the luck and I'd really like him to grope me." — One of Schwarzenegger's many political rivals in the race, porn star Mary Carey.

"I dumb down for my audience and double my dollars/ They criticize me for it but they all yell 'Holla!'." — Jay-Z on his new The Black Album.

"Don't tell anyone. I'm supposed to be dumb." — Former supermodel Helena Christensen admits she can speak six languages.