Up in Ontario

Beer Truck Driver Charged with Theft

As we reported earlier this week (Truck of Beer Gone Missing), a truck full of Moosehead beer, over 50,000 cans of the stuff bound for Mexico, had gone missing. Now the driver of the truck has been charged with theft, of the truck, and the beer.

Police found 8,000 cans of Mexican Moosehead on Monday, but the remaining beer remained outstanding until today, with the driver on the lam. I can only imagine what the police interview was like when the driver was caught.

Police: "And where have you been for the past 96 hours, with the truck, and the beer?"

Mr. Haines: "I can't remember."

Police: "Surely you don't expect us to believe you don't remember anything of the past four days."

Mr. Haines: "I can't remember a thing."

Police: "What is the last thing you remember?"

Mr. Haines: "I remember leaving the brewery and tucking into a few frosties for the road. By the time I got to Grand Falls I had to piss like a stallion. I pulled into the Irving, you know the one with the fried chicken, and let fly. A few guys I roomed with at the halfway house spotted me on the way out the door and we had a smoke. They asked me what was in the rig and I told them Moosehead for Mexico. They wanted to see for themselves. After that, I can't remember a thing."

Police: "So that's the last thing you remember?"

Mr. Haines: "No wait. I remember the smell of a strawberry air freshener in a motel room. Then I don't remember a thing."