Up in Ontario http://www.upinontario.com/mt/ A novel by James Sherrett]]> en-us 2008-05-05T20:30:35-08:00 Starbucks cards guarantee perfect orders http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000548.html Remember that Starbucks feeling?

How it later got repackaged as the Starbucks test to determine the degree of asshole you were dealing with?

Well now you can keep your degree of asshole with you. That's right, carry your Starbucks order on your Starbucks order card.

That little bit of power you have in your life? Get it on a card. That way nobody. ever. gets. it. wrong. again.

Starbucks order card - to make sure the hopeless barista get it goddam right.]]>
James Sherrett 2008-05-05T20:30:35-08:00
Conrad Black's parting gesture http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000547.html

How great is it that this image has won the National Pictures of the Year awards?

Great for me because otherwise I never would have known about it.

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Amusings James Sherrett 2008-04-20T13:50:03-08:00
Stairway to Winnipeg music video http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000546.html This is why the Internet was invented. Thanks to Darren for the pointer.]]> Winnipeg James Sherrett 2008-04-15T09:11:30-08:00 Figure skaters get rocked too http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000545.html Over at Julie's figure skating blog a great post appeared late last week that shows figure skaters can be tough and pretty.

8 of the worst falls in figure skating shows exactly what its title promises, in video.

My favourite? #5: the serious hip check Laetitia Hubert lays on Midori Ito a few feet from the boards. Rob Blake has no ass advantage on Laetitia.

And if you take glee in the pain of others, perhaps you'd also like to Digg the article.

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The Sporting Life James Sherrett 2008-04-07T12:16:52-08:00
Pedal car legally patrols Toronto http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000544.html Thanks to the excellent car-enthusiast site The Truth About Cars I now know about a pedal-powered, street-legal Buick that can be found legally rolling the roads of Toronto at a top speed of 15 km/h.

Yes, a Flintstones car patrols Hogtown.

The inventor of the "shared propulsion car," a vehicle that allows several passengers to power it by pedaling, has won a court battle over the safety of the transportation device.

A charge of operating an unsafe motor vehicle laid against Montreal artist Michel de Broin was dismissed on Thursday afternoon.

Justice of the peace Patrick Marum ruled the Crown didn't prove the car was unsafe.

De Broin transformed his 1986 Buck by taking out the car's engine, suspension, transmission, electrical system and floorboards.

The Fred Flintstone-type vehicle had no windows and no licence plates when four passengers took it on its maiden voyage through downtown Toronto last October.

The four drivers brought the vehicle to its top speed of about 15 km/h before police pulled the car over, which had only been on the road for a few minutes.

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Findings James Sherrett 2008-04-04T15:43:39-08:00
Wordie is texty stuff http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000543.html Wordie: Like Flickr, but without the photos.

If this doesn't tweak your word-loving soul, you may be dead.

Totally texty.

Please be sure to investigate the world's best exclamation point.

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Findings James Sherrett 2008-03-25T12:36:48-08:00
Creationist science fair winners http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000542.html So what's new, James?

Oh, not much. Working. Taking some photos. Organizing cool conferences.

Oh, and just this on a Leap Day: Creation Science Fair 2001.

"My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)" Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.

...

"Women Were Designed For Homemaking" Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.

Please also appreciate the ad in the left column with the large LOL acronym: Love Our Lord. An online shop for 'quality Christian gifts.'

Thank someone or bless something that the Internet has brought such delights to us. And there's always this Onion article too: Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory.

The world truly is a magical place.

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Findings James Sherrett 2008-02-29T18:03:59-08:00
Riding camels and such http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000541.html It's not every day that you get an email about riding camels. Or rather, an auto responder. But that's what I received yesterday from Darren, who's in Morocco.

Subject: Gone to the Sahara, Feb. 27 to March 3

Hi,
I'm on a short holiday, riding camels and such. I'll be out of email and phone contact for this period. I'll be back online at about 2:00pm PST (10:00pm GMT) on Monday, March 3. Thanks. DB.

At my insistence he's calling it CamelCamp. I'm told there will be photos to come in this space.

Back in October when we visited Darren and Julie in Malta, Darren mentioned he wanted to 'go out into the desert.' From his account of the trip their travel will be more themed around seeing the countryside than '40 days and 40 nights, let my people go, Pharoah,' and excellent fun. I look forward to the camel snaps.

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Amusings James Sherrett 2008-02-28T08:00:49-08:00
The Honky Patrol http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000540.html Praise Jesus I've found this site: Stuff White People Like. Now I knows what afflicted my lily ass.

I wasn't above faking the funk on a nasty dunk prior to being all enlightened up, and shit. But now I'm down with the real jive.

Of course, back when I was a cracker, I could related to all those things that whitey likes, and only white people like: bicycles, public radio and sushi.

Now I just say, "What it is, my brother?" And be done with it. I don't give a rat's ass. I'd rather be dumb and stupid, than white. Punk.

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The Bad-Idea Filter James Sherrett 2008-02-14T21:57:45-08:00
Cooking from Fish at Barbara Jo's http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000539.html Platter of rainbow trout from the oven

On Monday night I spent a fantastic few hours watching Quang Dang, the executive chef at C Restaurant, cooking fish at Barbara Jo's Books for Cooks. The event was themed around the book Fish, which I have in my possession and can gladly recommend.

I also recommend the photos of cooking from Fish.

Special thanks to the Rabbit for this Christmas gift. Too bad she's alergic to fishes. Otherwise I'd whip her up something delicious.

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Food Glorious Food James Sherrett 2008-01-24T10:06:29-08:00
A wishbone broken into three http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000538.html Is there a name for a wishbone broken into three?

Wishbone broken into 3

Monique and I each held an end last night to break it and it splintered almost perfectly evenly. Neither of us getting more than the other. Neither of us getting the knuckle of the wish.

Recommended: see the full effect of the wishbone photo at large size.]]> Photos James Sherrett 2008-01-18T16:00:27-08:00 Breaking news: failure now an option http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000537.html Sometimes when I read The Onion I laugh so hard that tears arrive in my eyes, unbeckoned.

And this article — Failure now an option — makes my greatest hits list. They hit every note pitch perfectly.

I'm going to read it again now.

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Amusings James Sherrett 2008-01-16T16:57:59-08:00
Story of Stuff demystifies consumerism http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000536.html The Story of Stuff is a fascinating web video project that does a great job of stripping away the confusion about how our consumerist society work.

Stark black and white animations and direction narration tell clear, concise stories about how the global economy works. No matter what your political or economic persuasion, The Story of Stuff is timely and topical during our Christmas orgy of presents. Share love, not tokens.

See for yourself:

The whole thing is available for watching in 7 chapters from Free Range Studios on YouTube, or download it from the Story of Stuff website.

I recommend it. I know, it seems hokey, lefty, quaint. It's hard to care and have big ideas. But how else do you think we can change the world?

It has to start somewhere
It has to start sometime
What better place than here?
What better time than now?

– "Guerilla Radio" by Rage Against the Machine

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Politicking James Sherrett 2007-12-12T18:07:34-08:00
Know your DNA http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000535.html What would you pay to know the secrets of your DNA? To know where your ancestors originated, how you ended up with a curled tongue, if you were likely to develop a degenerative disease? Or, more provocatively, if your parents really are your parents.

23 and Me is betting their business on that curiousity. They offer a DIY DNA kit. Sign up for their service ($999 USD) and they mail you a plastic tube to spit in and send back to them.

From the saliva sample they work out your DNA and unlock ways to answer questions that get literally right to the heart of each of us.

But despite being oddly fascinated by the process and idea of knowing my genes, I'm not signing up. Sure, privacy is an issue. I'm not crazy about anyone out there having my DNA. And I always feel very cautious about seeking or receiving information that may change the way I see the world. I can never give that information back. Ever since reading Fast Food Nation I can't eat beef hamburgers or ground beef from industrial slaughterhouses.

But really, the biggest barrier right now for me to consider using 23 and Me, or any other DIY DNA service, is that I don't really know what I get for knowing my DNA. So I know my DNA: so what? Now what? My fitness level remains a moving target at the confluence of habits and genetics. My propensity to develop diseases remains.

To quote Popeye, who is sometimes quoted by my mom, 'I ams who I ams.'

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Tech and Discontents James Sherrett 2007-12-07T18:12:47-08:00
The fortune cookie told me to do it http://www.upinontario.com/mt/archives/000534.html

Have you ever wondered who writes the fortunes inside the fortune cookies? Wonder no more.

The New Yorker has a fascinating profile of "a vice-president at Wonton Food, Inc., in Long Island City, Donald Lau manages the company’s accounts payable and receivable, negotiates with insurers, and, somewhat incidentally, composes the fortunes that go inside the fortune cookies, of which Wonton is the world’s largest manufacturer."

Is it insane that writing the fortunes lives on the corner of his desk, as a small responsibility among many? I suppose it just proves that the most important criteria for Chinese restaurants or suppliers in sourcing fortune cookies is supply chain management, distribution network, pricing and other miscellany of business-to-business transactions, not the quality of the fortunes. Is anyone else disappointed to learn this?

Be sure to read through to the end of the New Yorker article for a great payoff, where the fortune writer explains his own axiom for life.

Thanks to Jason Oke for the fortune cookie image.

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Amusings James Sherrett 2007-12-05T10:43:12-08:00